CAN WE HAVE TWO ONE-NIGHT-STANDS WITH THE SAME PERSON?
Almost a year ago, I had my first one-night stand. Well, not actually my first — but a first in 30+ years. So almost like a complete do-over, right?
I have never forgotten my first and will never forget this one. However, this time I was much more confident, someone who knows what she likes and experienced enough to know what he might want. I have the same body image issues, but care less about them and felt no shame or guilt.
Yep, you guessed it we met in a bar. He was flirty, great smile, we talked about off the beaten path artists we liked and the music from the festival we had both just came from. At the end of the night, he said he was walking me home. I didn’t refuse. Perhaps it was the vodka, perhaps it was a recent realization that my marriage was over (the hubs had already moved out months ago at this point), maybe the attention was nice, or maybe it was the confidence in how he said he was walking me home. He didn’t ask — he told me. I have a strong personality and few people tell me what to do — if they do, I typically do just the opposite. I know, I know, that’s a topic for another day…one of my many issues.
I would love to say names have been changed to protect the identity of said one-night stand, but truth be told, I didn’t remember his name…so let’s call him Boy Wonder. Boy Wonder walked me home, we poured another drink, chatted, laughed and danced in the kitchen. He twirled me around and did his best to learn to two-step. Then he pinned me against the wall and kiss me like I haven’t been kissed in years…maybe never. Like he wanted me, really wanted ME. We kissed, we touched, rubbed and caressed. We ended up making love until the sun came up. OK it wasn’t love, but it was amazing sex. The hot steamy kind that makes you want more….so we did it once last time before he left. The only negative….when he had me against the wall and practically brought me to orgasm by kissing my neck — there was a huge blue smudge where my new jeans had rubbed the paint. Just so you know, you can’t just cover the spot — had to pain the whole damn wall! To be honest, I left it there for a few weeks. Every time I walked to the top of the stairs, I was reminded of an amazing night.
Boy Wonder was hot as hell, an amazing kisser, knew how to handle himself in the bedroom and pretty sure he was older than at least one of my grown children. I was fascinated by how someone who was so young was so good in the sack! We didn’t talk much, so thankfully no questions about age — mine or his! He did say at least a few times this was the best sex he ever had and we need to do it again when we were sober. Maybe it was the booze talking, but I’ll take the compliment. It was a boost for my confidence and very well might have been the best sex I have ever had or at the very least, ranked in the top three!
I didn’t see Boy Wonder again for almost a year, and BAM! Out of nowhere, he was standing in front of me. I was out of town for a girl’s weekend at an outdoor bar, an amazing band playing every fun 90’s dance song ever made, humid, hot and sticky, and a cute guy walked up to me and asked how I have been?
At first, I thought maybe it was one of my kid’s friends from high school or college that I didn’t recognize — I answered “fine” — with a look on my face that said, “do I know you”? I looked at him for a second and he grinned and said, “you don’t remember me, do you?”. It clicked — that smile.
Holy fucking hell! This hot little young thing standing in front of me was Boy Wonder. One and the same, here in the flesh, standing in front of me asking how I’ve been? I put my hands on either side of his face and asked WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN??? I was in shock, lust, disbelief, lust and a little more shock! He said the look on my face was priceless when I realized who he was. We chatted for a bit and exchanged names (because of course, I had forgotten his).
Out of nowhere, three hours from the small town we met almost a year ago, Boy Wonder was standing in front of me. I could not believe he even remembered who I was. We chatted for a bit and he gave me shit about not remembering his name. I assured him I remembered everything else about that night. I reached around his neck and pulled his tee shirt back and so I could see the tattoo across his upper back…and said I even remember what it meant to him and every freaking muscle on his tight, hot body. The other shocker — that night seemed pretty memorable to him as well. He mentioned kissing in the hallway (I did tell him about the blue mark on the wall), staying up until the sun came up, the hot, steamy sex — he remembered.
We snapped a pick to send to my friend who was out with us the night we met. Conveniently I didn’t have my phone on me so I had to give him my number so he could send me the pic. Ha, see what I did there?
We messaged back and forth on the long ass ride home Sunday. Funny how the drive to girl’s weekend is never as long as the drive home — hung over, exhausted, and no voice. Three nights out in a row, talking over the band, I ALWAYS lose my voice!
Boy Wonder asked when he could see me again. What if the sex isn’t as good as we remembered? I posed the question to him and confident as ever, he assured me he would not let that happen. Confidence is sexy AF!
My BFF, roomie, and the girl who can’t seem to get a second date, provided some pretty insightful words of wisdom. If you sleep with him again, and it’s as great as you remember, well then awesome! If it’s not, then you can lower the bar back down to reality and at least other guys will have a shot!
Four days later Boy Wonder was at my front door. I actually a bit nervous before he got there, which is not like me. I thought about having a stiff drink but was still detoxing from the weekend and nothing even sounded appealing. A zillion thoughts were running through my head. What if he realized how freaking old I am? What if I chubbier than he remembered? What if he googled me and was like damn, she is older than my Mom?
Fuck it, I am having sex with Boy Wonder and I need to get out my head. I knew he was coming over just to have sex, which I was completely OK with. We weren’t going on date, we weren’t getting to know each other, we were going to have sex. He remembered where my bedroom and headed straight there. We actually did chat for a while. We have a lot more in common that either of us would have thought. Similar careers, same taste in music and talked for almost an hour. THEN, we had one more tumble in the hay and yes, it was amazing! Probably the most attentive lover I have ever been with. He must have read every word of 50 Shades. He remembered that I loved having my neck kissed, he knew that I liked it slow, and holy hell he fucked me slow and hard until we both came.
I may never see Boy Wonder again, but I am definitely not lowering the bar! Having sex with someone new after a 13-year relationship could have been a disaster. He made it amazing, for which I am very grateful and helped me realize there are a few things I will prioritize should I ever end up in a relationship again. I will never again settle for someone who is not a great kisser. It’s a talent, an art form. I love kissing and I’m damn good at it. I will never again settle for someone who’s not willing to dance with me in the kitchen, when the band plays my favorite song or as Co-Jo sings “dance her when she needs dancin”. I will never again settle for someone who doesn’t make sex a priority and put a little effort into it for my benefit as well. These things may seem shallow to some, but I am a firm believer that a good kiss, a slow dance, and great sex, along with good listening and communication skills of course, can help overcome many difficulties in a relationship.
So…is it still considered a one-night stand since we had sex again OR since they were almost a year apart, is it possible to have two one night-stands with the same guy?
